Travel Secrets

Today's post may be a bit off-kilter, but I wanted to comment on a few things I've seen more and more of since joining the "travel community." Oh heck, let's just get to the point: There are some really annoying expectations people have about travel. Now before I put my foot in my mouth any further, I want to make the compulsory public service announcement that everyone (including me) has expectations from time to time about what a place ought to look like, how much it ought to cost etc. etc. that aren't quite on point. Fact is, often times travel reality is the opposite of what we expected. That said, there are some things the general public needs to know. As a side note, if you travel frequently, or have not been locked in a box for the last ten years, you can tune out now. For the unfortunate few that do not, or have been, read on:

1. You can no longer fly from LAX to Paris for $399. Yep, shocking, I know.
Oh, what's that?
"You did it in college?"
Well guess what? Ten years ago: gas was cheaper, our dollar was stronger, and supply greater.

2. You cannot stay on the beach in Thailand (specifically Phuket, Ko Phi Phi, Samui, Krabi or elsewhere) for $10/night. And no, there are no secret communities of backpackers that have occupied an otherwise unknown island where days are blissful, and everything is free.

3. Tokyo is insanely expensive. Yes, worse than New York. And no, there's nothing I can find for you under $200 in that city anywhere near the sections of the city you'd want to be near.
"But why?!"
"That's insane!?"
"It can't be true!"
Answer: It just is, yes it is, unfortunately it is.

4. If you are looking to get "off-the-beaten-path", steer clear of Europe.

5. The combination of 4-5 star, centrally located, and very very cheap rarely, if ever, exists.

6. In remote parts of this world, you cannot always just fly from place to place - you have to drive.

7. There are ATM's in foreign countries. I know, totally crazy. It's almost as if there are banks in countries other than our own.

8. You get what you pay for. Simple enough, right? If you want to spend $75 a night on a hotel abroad, don't expect much. Furthermore, don't write a review on Trip Advisor once you've stayed at that $75/night property that the valet was poor, breakfast incomplete, or room not very big.

9. Iceland is not covered in ice, and Greenland is not really green.

10. Cancun is dirty, gross, not very foreign, and chalked full of drunk college kids. It's not an ideal family vacation spot. Read more...

Airline safety video

Thank goodness we are now going to be 'safe' on airlines!

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Lost on Planet China

I am going to transport myself back to my middle school days to Ms. Yates' English class and write a book review. I know people actually do this for a living and it is a highly reputable profession, but I can't help but think of standing in front of the class feeling pretty stupid for daring to criticize Steinbeck. Maybe that is why I only gave glowing reviews. So here goes.....

I just finished reading the latest and greatest book by Maarten Troost, the single most entertaining travel writer, ever. Yes, I know that is a pretty bold statement, but I stand by my opinion.....his books are so wonderful. On this blog, we have our favorite books listed and both this proceeding novels, Getting Stoned with the Savages and The Sex Lives of Cannibals are included.

In his new book, Lost on Planet China: The Strange and True Story of One Man's Attempt to Understand the World's Most Mystifying Nation, or How He Became Comfortable Eating Live Squid, Troost does not actually live in the location of which he is writing. This is a bit of a departure from the more in-depth style of description I was used to, but it did not make me like it any less. In fact, I liked it more. His ever witty remarks on the strangeness of everyday occurrences in China "Hell is a line in China. You are so forewarned" are expertly interwoven with a clear and accurate depiction of a nation full of contrasts.

The single most appealing aspect of Troost is simply his humor. The man can make a trip to the fish market the most entertaining saga you have ever read (see The Sex Lives of Cannibals). This definitely carries through in Lost on Planet China and with the oddities of everyday encounters I found myself unable to stop reading.

Hopefully Ms. Yates would have approved of this review! Read more...

Euro 2008

Although this may be stretching the limits of travel posts, I am going to chat about it anyhow.... I love soccer (at least the global version anyhow... not sold on MLS yet), and right now the Euro Cup is currently underway. I was first turned on to this sport while backpacking through Europe in 2000 during the Cup eight years ago. Those Europeans are obsessed with their teams, and it's contagious. Anyhow, love it. I've been following the action this year, and randomly came across the following video that I think is hysterical (and incredibly impressive) so I thought I'd post it for your enjoyment. So, here it is (bear with it as it gets better as it goes on):

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My Ten Funniest Travel Stories

Every time I speak to someone coming back from a far off place, it's not long before we begin swapping stories about the hysterical situations we managed to get ourselves into. Now I'm sure there is some psycho-analysis behind my travel style lending itself to somewhat hysterical happenings, but friends, that's another story for another time. Let's concentrate. I want to hear stories from our readers about absurd, hysterical, or comical things they've seen/heard or done while abroad. And no request here at Pangaea goes without a quid pro quo, so to get started, here's my top ten list of weirdest or funniest things I've seen myself while abroad:

1. I once traveled around Norway in a yellow van full of 17 people. We're not talking about a bus here either folks; picture a standard size van, with enough body parts hanging out of the window to draw any stare within a square mile. This is not the end of the story though. My Dad was one of the unfortunate souls who was half in the van, half out. At a stoplight outside of Bislett Stadium in Oslo, a lunatic woman came from nowhere yelling God knows what in Norwegian. Upon reaching the van she grabbed hold of my Dad and spent what was likely the longest light of my Dad's life trying to pull him out the window. Ole, our only resident Norwegian, explained afterward that the woman was quite fond of my Dad's eyes. To this day, I've never seen a funnier look than my Dad's frantic face as he fought to stay inside that van.
2. Last time I was in Thailand with my buddy Coy, we arrived at a hotel and were told the rate for our room was $4 more than we had expected because the room, "included Bigfoot free of charge." Enough said, we'll take it.
3. I stayed in a hostel with a buddy of mine once and we were given a third roommate we later named "The Brazilian Stomper." He spent the entire night jumping from his top bunk onto the floor making the whole room rattle. After a minute or so passed, he'd climb back up into his bed and repeat the jump. This went on for hours.
4. I worked in Tokyo for several months, and loved to find the most bizarrely translated signs. One of my favorites was my trash can. Somehow "trash can" was mistranslated to read: "It's here. Let's Supreme Can!"
5. Along those same lines, while at a restaurant in Prague I saw a menu item (that wound up being a local river fish) that was translated to English as: "His wife in the garlic." Do you even need to ask if I ordered it or not?
6. While in Egypt we met a shop owner, who upon finding out my friends name was Dave, started yelling "Beckham!" Beckham!" He proceeded to close his store for us, sit us down on the floor, serve us tea and cigarettes (none of us smoke), and show us Roman artifacts unearthed on his Grandfather's farm. Classic.
7. There is a hostel in Interlaken, Switzerland that is named Funny Farm. I won't get into all of the reasons here, but suffice to say the name barely cracks the surface of how crazy this place really is. By way of example, the showers are located in the corner of a dance club on premises. Walking through strobe lights and dj's to get to the showers is bizarre. Having your fingernails and soap glowing under the black lights while showering is ever weirder.
8. In a random neighborhood in Tokyo on a morning run, I once made a run for it and hid in a tube slide thinking I saw a lion. Why wouldn't there be a lion in Tokyo? I was prepared to take kids out, push people aside.... It's every man for themselves when a lion is on the prowl in Roppongi. Made sense at the time.... Long story short, it was a freakishly large red dog shaved to look like a lion (mane, tail, you name it).
9. So out of sync from jet-lag, my friend and I went to bed at 4pm in Paris once. We woke in the morning, showered, and went for breakfast. After eating eggs, we noticed it seemed to be getting dark. My buddy asked a woman in front of a hostel, "Is it day or night?" Confused, she said, "night". We had slept two hours and thought a day had passed. Awesome.
10. Last time I flew to SE Asia, I brought Ambien for my buddy and I to sleep through the flight. We figured we'd take our Ambien with a beer to "cheers" the trip. Let's just say Ambien and a beer is not a good idea. We later found about a half hour of video footage on his camera with us rambling on about lasagna and bread (not served on the flight by the way) that neither of us remember in the least. Read more...

Pack Less. Weigh Less. Pay Less?

Thank goodness when I saw this new 'advertisement' for Derrie Air, I was alerted at the beginning that it was a prank. I have a tendency to believe almost anything and most likely I would have been all excited until someone explained it to me.

Luckily, it looks like I am not the only gullible person out there. The Philadelphia Inquirer and Philadelphia Daily News ran ads about this new fenom airline that describes itself as the "world's only carbon-neutral luxury airline, where you don't have to choose between living the high life and saving the planet". Can you see why I got so excited??!!

This fictitious advertising campaign created by Philadelphia Media Holdings and was meant to prove to its clients the power of visual media while basically making people laugh. With advice such as, "The magic comes from our one of a kind "Sliding Scale"—the more you weigh, the more you'll pay." or "Nine out of ten scientists agree"

Truthfly, I was more interested to learn about Dick, the owner and mastermind behind Derrie-air (no pun intended). In his youth Dick lived off a diet rich in Mississippi fish and thus "This unusual diet flooded his brain with Omega-3 fatty acids, to which he credits his remarkable business acumen."

F-ing brillant. This is really marking at its best! Read more...